29!!!!???!!

How did it happen??? 29. I don't feel like I am almost 30. I feel the same as I did when I was still in high school. Well ok not quite as good but almost. I don't know why I am having such a difficult time with this age but I am. I have tried to sit and write this many times since the 8th and just couldn't find what to say. Alot has happened in my 29 years. I have a wonderful husband, 3 amazing kids, a crazy long hair weenie dog and somehow I have managed to end up living in Europe for the next few years. As I reflect back I cannot help but see how God has been next to me guiding me along the way. Although I continually try and make him see it my Jesus has been right there to show me the way.

My life changed forever when I was 16. I found out I was pregnant and in most cases 16 pregnant and a sr in high school not a good combination. Everyone in my life had a different opinion on what exactly I should do. I knew that my only option was to have my child. I had to immediately grow up. Overnight I went from cheering on Friday nights to deciding what type of diapers and car seat we needed. Add on top of that we decided to get married. I think M and I were trying to do the right thing. Looking back now I can see how different we were and had no business getting married. Still I am grateful for my boys. When we split up it was most definitely the best for both of us. I am not advocating divorce by any means but the Lord was not in the marriage and it was doomed from the beginning.

My life changed again on Nov 08, 20002. When Dean and I were married. He was my own Knight in Shining armour. He will be so embarrassed me saying that but he was and still is. He is a wonderful God fearing man and together we have grown in the Lord. We have somehow managed to combine our family to a modern day brady bunch. Everyone is spread out but we do our best to get everyone together as often as possible. It is far from perfect. But I love our big,crazy, wild family!!!

On July 15, 2004 we added one more to our tribe. Our sweet LilliGrace. She is my gift from the Lord. (even as she sits here and squirms and wiggles so that won't go to sleep!!!) I don't mean to separate her and love her no more than my boys :but after the horrible custody battle(long, long story) I went through I felt like a failure and a lousy mother. The hardest part is the only thing I ever wanted to be was a mom and after that experience I was left empty. But the Lord sent my own little angel.

Although things are still very rough with my ex. and my boys are still with him during the year. I know that the Lord has a perfect plan and he has it under control. That was one of the hardest battles I fought with the Lord. But I finally turned it over to him and was given the peace only he can provide. Some people cannot understand my attitude toward the situation but I know that he has it under control.

With all that said....Maybe that is why I can't believe I am 29. My life has been a roller coaster with so many ups and downs. I am excited to see what is in store for the next 30 years.

I don't even know what prompted me to tell my little story but I just felt like I needed too. It is always been a hang up of mine when I meet people. I always think everyone will judge me. And I know really that things happen!!And if they judge they judge whatever!! Anyway it is out there and I feel better!!! :)

Oh and completely off subject I felt like 29 needed a change. So I cut my hair off!!! So here is a pic of me and my little brother with my new hair!! Thank you so much Lis!!! I love it!!!

/div>